Sep 30, 2022
No matter how many books or blogs might say otherwise, controlling your anger is not an easy thing. “Just don’t be angry” is a ruse. And there’s no easy or quick fix. Anger is primal, and it has stuck with us through the course of humanity, initially as a survival tool.
If anger is affecting your wellbeing or relationships, our anger management therapy in Leeds offers confidential professional support.
It can feel binary, like a switch, on or off, hot or cold, fury or calm. Once that button is pushed, it cannot be turned off right away. Rage.
We forget ourselves, and capacity for empathy is non-existent. The only thing that matters in that moment is the thing we’re angry about. Hurt, blame, anguish.
Working with anger is a journey, not a destination.
Here are 5 tips we recommend to help with your journey:
Some of these practical approaches are also explored through CBT for anger.
1. Practice Empathy Everyday
Anger is best friends with misunderstanding. Perception is everything. And understanding other people is key to a proportional response. What are you angry about? What did they actually do? Are their actions justified? Put yourself in their shoes. Can you see why they might feel this way? These are some of the important questions to try and ask yourself in the moment.
2. Recognise When You Take Things Personally
Learning to let things wash over you is important. It’s best to just accept that most things aren’t personal. Someone push in front in a queue? They probably didn’t mean to. Ran out of your favourite sandwich at the shop? It’s not the clerk’s fault. Someone cut you off in traffic? It’s not a personal attack.
3. Clearly Express How You Feel and What You Want
So much anger is built up frustration about how you feel. Learning to communicate how you feel calmly and respectfully is absolutely essential if you want to manage your anger. Be honest and say what is on your mind. Good communication is the foundation of good relationships.
4. Learn to Appreciate Difference
Difference makes us stronger. We are humans with different ideas, ideals and tendencies. Learn to appreciate what can seem like an annoying habit or an inconvenience for you. See the positive. Make a joke. And move on.
5. Confront Your Inner Critic
Conquering the internal voice that criticises us can be key to changing our anger. Question it. Separate it from how things actually are. It is not speaking the truth, and if left unquestioned it infects every aspect of our lives, and gets in the way of healthy relationships.
Of course, successful anger management often needs input from a trained professional. Here at Head Agenda, we have behavioural management specialists that can help you on your journey to control your anger. Make an enquiry today to find out more.
Disclaimer: This article has been designed for entertainment and informational purposes; it is not personalised medical advice. This guide may be a useful read to generate some ideas, however, please take advice from a medical professional.