Jul 29, 2022
A counsellor? Me?
Blimey, where to start, the very beginning…
Ok here goes, I left school at 16yo. In my childhood home, experience was more important than education. I hated school so I went along with that. Couldn’t wait to leave. I remember feeling destroyed when people would say “school, it’s the best days of your life”. Really! the 15 year old me would think - what’s the bloody point - nothing to look forward to. In that huffy, arsey teenage way. Obviously I know now, for me it wasn’t.
I worked as an office junior, had a terrible experience, there was a bullying culture. I left after two years, glad to be leaving the negative culture that I thought was work. I didn’t know any different.
Anyway to cut a long story short I climbed the ladder at the new place. It was an industry where qualifications were not the only criteria for success, but common sense, drive, personality and a brain (which I didn’t know I had) were.
It infuriates me today, that there is so much emphasis on academic achievement, but being bright, social, with a good attitude doesnt seem to account for much in school these days. The adult me knows it does, but wish someone had told me that at fifteen. We all have something no one else does, believe in yourself! If you don’t, who will?
Where was I? Oh yes work, When I left the industry 20 years later, I thought what could I do? I didn’t have a degree, didn’t have A levels. I had always been interested in psychology so I become a volunteer mentor for Education Leeds, working with teenagers not interested in school or education. A bit like my younger self, yes, you had probably worked that out? I loved it, although I think they thought I was a pain in the arse, but through humour and patience I think some of what I said sank in, hopefully.
I still haven’t got to how I became a counsellor have I? My first experience of therapy was going to couples counselling. It was nothing that I thought it would be. My husband and I went before we were married (not a good sign, I hear you say) however gaining that insight into our behaviours and how we interacted as a couple was enlightening for both of us. I love the quote by Christina Lauren, “Relationships are a lot like houses, without a good foundation they will crumble. When a light bulb goes out, you don’t buy a new house, you change the bulb. When the faucet drips, you don’t start mopping the floor before you fix the leak. In other words, no matter how much digging it takes, its important to get to the root of a problem”.
Couples therapy helped us enormously, we learnt to communicate and have a deeper understanding of each other. Don’t get me wrong, we still have our moments but we have been married 25 years this year, so thank you to you Roger at Relate, you changed our relationship for the better and got me interested in counselling. Every cloud as they say…..
Disclaimer: This article has been designed for entertainment and informational purposes; it is not personalised medical advice. This guide may be a useful read to generate some ideas, however, please take advice from a medical professional.