Thoughts of a Therapist: How I Do My Job

Date

Aug 12, 2022

I’m often told ‘I don’t know how you do what you do’. But here’s the thing, I don’t do it, I am it. That’s a bit difficult to understand isn’t it? I know. I will try to explain.

When I first started training, I believed there was a way to ‘do’ things that helped fix the problem for the client. How wrong I was. My Supervisor once said to me when I was training that I did my best work when I wasn’t trying to fix it. This was quite a revelation as that is what I had done all my life, try and fix things. This made me reflect that maybe I didn’t? Perhaps that wasn’t where my worth lies.

As therapists we never ‘do’ things for our clients. There will be enough people telling them what to ‘do’. We help our clients identify what they would like to do. It’s a choice. When we realise this, it can be quite liberating, we can chose how we respond and break some of the negative cycles we may have been in.

“Success as a therapist is not found in doing something for the client, but rather in being something for the client.” (Ili Rivera Walter)

I love the quote above from Ili Rivera Walter, I think it captures how we/I work as therapists. I will be the vessel, the mirror, the person that the client may need to act out their difficulties through. For example being angry, sad, confused, not knowing. It’s only by being able to do this in a safe environment, what I mean by that is an environment where we are not judged, it’s unconditional. It’s then that we can reflect and review our thoughts, feelings and actions. Your therapist is being what you need, to be able to hold up a mirror and question if there may be another way of being or thinking, they will help you find alternative strategies and perspectives so you can manage your difficulties in a more positive way.

What is the truth?

What’s right for me might not be right for you. My truths may not be your truth. My Mum was constantly telling me her opinion and then finishing with “and that’s the truth” actually, it wasn’t. It was her truth, I didn’t realise this until I reached my twenties. Some people caveat what they are saying with ‘the truth’ as a way of giving it gravitas. To give it credibility, a stamp of authority, a subliminal message that you can’t argue against it.

Think about when you have found yourself on the receiving end of ‘truth’ what were your thoughts? How did you respond? How did you feel about it? Did it make you feel powerless? Consider for a moment what your truths are and why? The other thing about truths is that they can change, you are allowed to change your truths we do this based on our experience. Have you ever changed your truths? Maybe you have through reading this? Let me know, I would love to hear about it.

Disclaimer: This article has been designed for entertainment and informational purposes; it is not personalised medical advice. This guide may be a useful read to generate some ideas, however, please take advice from a medical professional.

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Kate Riley

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Robert Rowe

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Can't rate Head Agenda, or my therapist, highly enough. I had my first appointment within two weeks of enquiring and began CAT therapy with Jonathan. His kind, caring and friendly approach instantly helped me to feel relaxed, leading to several breakthroughs during our sessions. My therapy with Jonathan has been genuinely life changing; this is by far the best money I've ever spent. I now feel calmer and more content, and have the tools needed to enjoy better mental health.
If you're ready to put in the work, I'd definitely recommend Head Agenda.

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After years of been in and out of therapy I was sceptical about trying it again, I went in expecting to be disappointed. I couldn't have been more wrong.

The knowledge, empathy and approach Mandy took to with me was something i'd never experienced before. I actually feel excited to start a new chapter of my life and I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for Head Agenda.

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Cat I

I am glad I went to Head Agenda, great staff and Mark was really helpful and friendly. If you are unsure about going to see anyone then maybe just book an appointment and discuss it with them. Even if you think you are mentally strong there is always room for improvement. I feel like Mark has helped me find the right path to go forward in my life. I would recommend this company :)

The Anunnaki

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Barnsley Jack

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Thank you

M

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Siobhan Thew

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