Oct 11, 2022
This is our family reference to the menopause. ‘alright mum? Is it the pause?’ When I come home from work, rush into the kitchen stripping items of clothing off and splash water on my face from the washing up bowl in a frenzy.
I openly talk about it, it’s a fact of life; every woman will go through it. To different degrees, from a mild hot flush to wanting to murder someone. Oh the regret I have for having kids later in life so going through ‘the pause’ whilst managing teenagers’. My house is a powder keg of emotions that’s ready to explode at any time. Why did no one tell me - Have them earlier so they will have left before you kick into full ‘pause’ mode.
I want to mention ‘the pause’ as I think women struggle but so too do their families. Your family know that things may be off kilter, mood changes, snapping, little patience, finding you on the sofa with just your bra and pants watching Pointless. The irony…..
It’s also hard for them as they just don’t know how to help. They can often feel useless and so ‘avoid’ to minimise any potential conflict, or saying the wrong thing. Our partners can feel alienated, there can be a distance that is created in close relationships. ‘The pause’ can generate fatigue, no motivation, low self esteem, sometimes weight gain and headaches, not sleeping, so making the effort to be intimate, overwhelming.
I have seen many ladies in my practice who have come for help with anxiety, they have been prescribed antidepressants and feel like they are unraveling. Some think they are going crazy, they don’t feel in control of themselves, sometimes not recognising the person they are becoming. They can’t manage work, when previously they knew the job inside out, brilliant at it, but feel like they are falling apart. In some cases they had resigned from their jobs, so not only losing themselves but also their purpose and some the self worth that came with the job and the financial difficulties that leaving their job created.
I am not a doctor but I recognised in some of these ladies that they were experiencing the menopause. HRT hadn’t been discussed but antidepressants had. Sometimes they can help, but it’s also possibly the hormones in our bodies need replacing to help create a good balance of well-being. Speak to your GP and explore the options you may have? I find they are more willing to help with the menopause now than they were a few years ago, maybe we have Divina McCall to thank for that?
Check out the website below, it’s written by a female doctor who specialises in the menopause. They even have an area called the men shed, which helps partners understand what’s going on and how they can help. Forums to talk to others who are going through the same thing.
Talk to your loved ones during this difficult time so they know what’s happening and what you need from them to help. Think of the small things they can help with? Ask for help, I know most women ‘just get on with it’, cos that’s what we do, but to be vulnerable is a strength, being vulnerable isn’t being a victim. I like this quote from Yasmin Mogahed, “Some people should not be allowed to see beyond your surface. Seeing your vulnerability is a privilege, not meant for everyone”.
Maybe that quote will help you share your vulnerability with those that love you who already know they are privileged.
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Liz was great, can't recommend Head Agenda enough! I went for 12 weeks in total and I feel like it has really got me back on track from the place that I was. Thank you!
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Debra has been absolutely wonderful in helping me understand my mental health. She’s made me feel so calm and relaxed in sessions. Couldn’t recommend her enough!
Counselling will start this week but my initial contact with Head Agenda has been great. Lovely friendly reply to my initial email enquiry, followed by a phone call from Amanda who was very easy to talk and was very reassuring and helpful with all my questions and concerns.
Head Agenda were great, and really helped me with my issues. The space was great quiet and private it did not feel intimidating. My therapist Jonathan, took the time to understand my problems and was really helpful and easy to approach. Would recommend.
I went to Head Agenda to try to tackle my severe anxiety. My therapist Jonathan was really helpful and kind and I now feel more equipped to manage my mental health. The space is calming and welcoming. I would recommend Head Agenda to anyone who is suffering and who needs professional support.
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Just wanted to say a huge thank you to Debbie here at Head Agenda! She has been absolutely amazing in getting me through what felt like a million and one problems when I first went in. I truly came to think of her as a friend and felt her genuine care and want to help me. I always came away from every session feeling lighter and much more positive and she's always been so friendly, sensitive and incredibly relatable. She has guided me through an extremely difficult time in my life and got me through and out of that dark tunnel.
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Head Agenda has been brilliant for me whilst going through a turbulent time in my life. Mark has been amazing. Calm, kind, professional, a complete expert who helps you work through anything whilst providing you with a range of tools you can use. He increases your self awareness and does it with such a positive reassuring presence that lets you feel relaxed and confident to talk to him. Can't recommend Mark and Head Agenda highly enough.
This was my first experience with counselling. I was always reluctant to seek help for whatever reason. With recent health issues I felt that it was the 'icing on the cake' and I needed help. Then I met the wonderful Debbie at Head Agenda. She has guided me more than I ever thought possible. She has helped me see what's truly important and helped me breakdown understand what once felt like big mess in my head! She has taught me so much and I can finally say, today, that I am ready to use her kind words and advice and see how I get on alone. I know she is always there though if I need her one day. I now feel I am strong enough, all thanks to Debbie.
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I found Head Agenda through another website which recommended therapists. I have used Head Agenda for roughly 6 months and it has been a transformative experience. My therapist was professional, kind, understanding and helpful with making changes and seeing things in a new way. I can't recommend the experience enough.
My experience with Head Agenda has been liberating for me! I would recommend anyone that’s thinking of getting help to look no further.
I can't begin to describe how incredible Darren has been in helping me with my mental health. He enabled me to respect and love myself for the first time in a very long time. I have come a long way since starting my sessions and I will be forever grateful to Darren for facilitating my process of healing. I highly recommend Darren and Head Agenda!
I have had a few sessions with Debra. When I arrived for my first session she made me feel very comfortable and the session just flew by. Debbie really took the time to understand what I was saying and made me feel like she really wanted to help me through my problems. She has gone over and above expectations, supporting me through a very big decision. The rooms are very relaxing and comfortable and there is barely any noise from outside. I would fully recommend having sessions with Debra. She has really opened up my eyes to the reasons of why I feel the way I do and ways to try and reduce those feelings.
I am glad I went to Head Agenda, great staff and Mark was really helpful and friendly. If you are unsure about going to see anyone then maybe just book an appointment and discuss it with them. Even if you think you are mentally strong there is always room for improvement. I feel like Mark has helped me find the right path to go forward in my life. I would recommend this company :)
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Debra was very kind and understanding, she gave considerate and constructive advice, we cannot thank her enough for all that she did to help!
I came to see Mandy in autumn 2019 for some CBT to deal with my anxiety which at times spiralled out of control for weeks/months at a time. Mandy was great, in the end doing a combination of both therapy and CBT to explore where the anxiety had come from, as well as how to put it back in its box. She was great at challenging me, which is just what I needed. An immediate affect was feeling significantly less nervous about flying. I now find myself in week 5 of the UK COVID lockdown, a time that is causing anxiety for so many people, and able to cope. Yes, I have felt anxious (who hasn’t!!), but it has been for a maximum of an hour or two, and not endless. I can highly recommend Head Agenda. Thank you.
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I just wanted to say a huge thank you to Debbie who I had many sessions with earlier this year. At first I was very hesitant but was by far was the best decision I have made and I am now in a place I could have only dreamt to be in a year ago. I could not recommend Debbie highly enough and genuinely want to thank her from the bottom of my heart.
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After years of been in and out of therapy I was sceptical about trying it again, I went in expecting to be disappointed. I couldn't have been more wrong.
The knowledge, empathy and approach Mandy took to with me was something i'd never experienced before. I actually feel excited to start a new chapter of my life and I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for Head Agenda.
Can't rate Head Agenda, or my therapist, highly enough. I had my first appointment within two weeks of enquiring and began CAT therapy with Jonathan. His kind, caring and friendly approach instantly helped me to feel relaxed, leading to several breakthroughs during our sessions. My therapy with Jonathan has been genuinely life changing; this is by far the best money I've ever spent. I now feel calmer and more content, and have the tools needed to enjoy better mental health.
If you're ready to put in the work, I'd definitely recommend Head Agenda.
I've just finished my last session with my therapist - Debbie, and I can't thank her enough for helping me through a difficult time in my life and seeing the light. I was very apprehensive at first, I've never had counselling before and I was in denial about my problem. But speaking to Debbie is one of the best things I've done, she is friendly, caring and it felt natural talking to her, and she gave me the tools I need to help get better. Very easy booking through Head Agenda, would highly recommend.
I could not recommend Caroline at Head Agenda enough. I was very hesitant when it came to therapy but Caroline had provided me with the confidence to speak about my issues, no matter how big or small. She has constantly treated me with grace and respect, I am very grateful for her.
I was lucky enough to be helped by Mark. I can't find any fault with him. He made me feel comfortable from the get-go. Professional but personable, paid more attention to what I was saying than I did! He seems very intelligent but not at all condescending. If you have any issues you would like to talk through, I would recommend Mark 100%.
Have had wonderful, sensitive support from Debra, who has helped me learn to take time to sit with my own grief rather than be present 100% of time for others. She made the sessions relaxed, and I will be getting in touch if there are more bumps in my road further down the line. Thank you.
About 4 months ago I decided to try therapy and was recommended Head Agenda by my girlfriend. After getting in contact with them I was assigned to Darren and over that period of time I found him very helpful, I would definitely recommend him and say it was a really positive experience